Lately I’ve been pretty hyped on the term “mental model.” I came across it by chance, and it felt like a clean abstraction for how I already think about people and conversation. When I talk with someone, I’m not just listening to what they say—I’m trying to understand the internal model that produces their thoughts, choices, instincts, and values.
Here’s how I’ve been thinking about it:
- For me, a meaningful conversation is essentially about distilling insights from the other person’s mental model.
- The goal isn’t to extract factual knowledge, but to absorb their tacit knowledge, experience, and instincts—almost like osmosis.
- This aligns with the idea that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
- That’s why I love talking to people whose mental models I’d like my own to converge toward, as well as people whose models are very different from mine and give me new insights.
- I want to become someone with good mental models myself, and I expect my definition of “good” to evolve over time.
When I meet someone whose outlook I admire, I often find myself wondering:
How did they build that mental model? What reinforced it? What broke it and reshaped it? What experiences made them think the way they do?
These are questions I’m still exploring—and conversations are my way of learning.